Several days ago, something went minorly wrong with something that I am responsible for. There are others who depend on this matter working well, but they are not financially responsible for it, whereas I am responsible to pay for it, if necessary. In the end, the people dependant on it spent a rather minute amount of effort to correct the issue for free and suggested that I spend my own money to solve it immediately. I took a bit of time to prepare, but when I addressed the problem, I solved it in literally several seconds with no real effort.
My initial response to this was anger. I felt that people were abundantly willing to spend my money with the slightest provocation, but hesitant to spend even so much as moderate effort to save me money. I made the assumption that this is because they do not respect my money. Or me, for that matter.
It was easy to fume about this. Everyone I spoke to for the next while heard about my frustration, as well as knowing exactly the names of those who bothered me. This was a group of sins all at once. Anger, lack of forgiveness, and gossipping. I have tried to avoid these in this post, including avoiding making clear those who bothered me by speaking in very general terms. Gentle Readers, you may feel free to tell me if I failed in my attempt to do this.
A day later, whilst working my courier job, I had some trouble finding a free parking spot near the area that I would be picking up the item. I quickly jumped to the conclusion that I could spend a mere fifty cents on a parking meter and just charge my client for that extra cost. Soon enough I realized that I could park for free for an hour at a nearby parking garage. Here’s the thing: I was already planning on that for parking an hour later near the same spot for lunch with my mother. Apparently, I am far more willing to spend my client’s money than my own money for even the same thing.
Fortunately, I had this thought before wasting my client’s money. I parked for free at the nearby ramp. Yet, this had me thinking about my similarity to those who were willing to waste my money. They are not bad people any more than I am. I know I am a good, compassionate person, but I am apparently equally willing to waste my clients’ money as others are willing to waste mine.
What do I do with this? I know not to shame myself over it. I’m not a bad person for this. Perhaps, what I need to do is be more forgiving of others that I perceive as wronging me. They are just as good as I am. Between all these events and this writing, someone pointed out to me that those who were willing to waste my money were paying for me to upkeep their system, so they may see it as spending indirectly their own money than mine.
Another way I intend to apply these events to my life is to take extra care to not waste others’ money. I now know that all people are more inclined to do that, including myself. Not to be self-righteous, but with this new information, I can live a better, more virtuous life. I am always looking to improve myself, so I’m glad for this opportunity to do so.